OMG. what happened today is beyond imagination, beyond expectation, beyond dreams, wishes and thoughts and whatever else that could ever describe it. its super crazy. very very very crazy indeed. i just need to say this a million times if i could. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG !!!!

i bet Farah's gonna be laughing reading this. but its not really funny lar kan? hahs. you know, at this age, being an 18 year-old teenager, you're not even close to be declared old enough to think about marriage. but i couldn't stop my thoughts just now, even until now, because someone made me in this state.

i was at a wedding ceremony at Hougang today. it was Farah's cousin who got married. as you all know, my family and her family are very very close. so i met with a few of her aunts, plus her mum. then there was this moment when her mum introduced a guy to me. that guy's Farah's cousin too, if i'm not wrong. at first, Mama Peng asked for my number but i told her i was attached. so she said its okay. then this guy, by the name of Ridwan, talked to mum and told mum he's interested in me and asked for my number. wah kanina!! i really don't know what to do at that point of time. i feel like running to Danni and hug him tight because Ridwan was a total stranger in my life! but obviously, my dear Danni wasn't there with me lah kan.

then dengan sahajanya, mak aku yang *urrgghhh* left us both alone to talk and 'get to know each other'. he asked how old am i. so i asked him back. i THOUGHT he was 20. but he's freaking 30. yes, 30 and available and looking for a life partner. anyone interested? no? me either! i'm not trying to sound rude or be rude, but really am i fated to be married off with old guys or what? i'm happy enough having Danni as my boyfriend at this point of time. me and Danni are only at the stage where we're beginning to enjoy the fun and thrills of a relationship, of us being together. i don't want situations like this to ruin anything, i mean ANYTHING in my life. not now. and never!!

after that, he offered me and mum a lift home in his car. so yeah we rode home in his car. thanks dude, but since i'm still in a state of shock, and maybe will still be in the time to come, i'd maybe prefer us to be strangers for now. hehs. or maybe just at least friends? you're way too old for me. i rather see you as an elder brother, than someone whom i'm gonna date with, or marry to. i'm so sorry that mum made me lie and say that i'm single. and i'm sorry, that i actually love my boyfriend very much, i love my life the way it is now and i love the way how my family is attached to yours. but i don't ever want anything more than that. else i'm doomed!

i need to meet my Danni and get a big warm hug from him, just to remind me that i have an awesome boyfriend who's yearning for more of my love everyday i wake up. there's noone else, but him!

i am still shock!

pardon me for this long entry. noone knows how i feel.

okay 'nuff of that. can? i've summarised about what happened in the simplest and shortest form possible. rock bottom, i'm still young, still hasn't yet enjoy life to the fullest, still has many things i wanna do and learn and experience, and i'm not getting married anytime soon. NO!

& sadly, i don't trust older guys anymore. not after all my ex-boyfriends, and not after knowing Azman, Apid and all. i'm good now.

& i saved his number in my handphone and put his name as "ABG WAN!" , since farah calls him that too. like said, he's old enough to be my big brother, or an uncle! hehs.

maybe situation would be best handled if dad was there. but nevermind. i'm cool now.

i need some rest.

good day!